I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
