I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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