She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
