dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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