Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We need to get me chipped asap
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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