My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
