I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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