If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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