I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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