Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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