the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
