ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
