escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
