We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
