Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize