Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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