if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
operation have a gay friend backfired
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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