She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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