You're completely useless in the revolution.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize