remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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