I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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