I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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