there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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