Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
