i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
