Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sarcasm needs its own font
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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