Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
