WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
MIDGETS
????
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
