I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
