I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize