She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
