This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
