she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
