he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
