come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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