Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
