Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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