Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
