Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize