I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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