I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
