I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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