Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
