Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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