Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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