I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
