Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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