and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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