Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
