Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize