did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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