Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
