I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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