just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
