he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
