Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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