your thong is hanging out like whoa
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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