WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
