No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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