Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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