Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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