oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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